HOME SWEET HOME

"Welcome Home", my younger sister, V. said when she called after I arrived in New York City (NYC) during a recent trip "home". We talked about our plans to get together for dinner to celebrate her birthday. It would be the first birthday dinner as a family for over 10 years. Since I moved away in 1988, I don't remember if we ever got together as a family to celebrate birthdays or any kind of anniversary.

"When are you coming home?", my mother often asks when she wants to know when I would be visiting New York. If I told her I would be visiting within 3-6 months, she would begin planning the menu and go into details of the dishes she would be cooking to show off her cooking to my husband, C who is more than happy to flatter her for her skills. If I told her I did not know when I would be coming "home", she would be unhappy and said something like, "If you lived nearby I would bring you some food.".

I lived in NYC from 1980 to 1988, moved to a small town in Michigan & lived there for about 5 years and have been living in St. Louis, Missouri for the past 12 years. The move from NYC to the little town by the lake after I married C. was a cultural shock. I had to learn to drive in the snow and ice and all kind of winter weather including white out. I also learned to enjoy a few weeks of summer when we were able to walk along the boardwalk and admired fancy boats docking by the pier. I learned to enjoy simple pleasure such as eating corn dogs on a stick and ice cream after a walk that was supposed to be an exercise.

I don't know where "Home" really is and what is the definition of "Home". There is a saying, "A house is a home when there is love". Our family left Viet Nam in 1979 and lived in the refugee camp for 7 months. We started a new life in NYC in 1980. I am the only one who moved out of NYC to Michigan and now to St. Louis. My sister, V, travels all over the world. We gave her a nickname, "Wondering Feet" because she takes at least 3-4 trips every year, most of the trips are oversea. V visited almost if not all the countries in Europe. In fact, V. is on a 2-week cruise to Finland and Russia at this time. My two brothers, T and L, don't travel often and never moved out of NYC.

I have a few close good friends from college, M, S, and A, and they all lived in NYC. Well, S moved to New Jersey about 15 years ago. M works for the same company since we graduated from college in 1983. S and A changed jobs 2-3 times but pretty much in the same industry. I am the only one moving away to the Midwest and changed jobs about 10 times and also jumped from one industry to another.

So, what is "home"? I guess "home" is where a person is comfortable, feeling that they are loved and needed. Home is where you know someone is waiting or concerns if you are not in the house when you are supposed to. Home is where you are able to drink coffee, read the newspaper in your underwear with messy hair and no one would call the police to report indecency. Home is where you could cry, laugh, share a few words with your family members and not worry about being judged.

Living in NYC and then the small town in Michigan, I like St. Louis because it is just about right. Not too hectic like NYC but not too sufficating like MI. St. Louis offers some metropolitan activities (the Fox theater, Science Center, the Zoo) and for sports fanatic like myself, hockey (the Blues), football (the Rams) and baseball (the Cardinals). After 12 years, I begin to feel comfortable that I may pick a high school and pretend that I went there so when someone asks me "Where did you go to high school?" I would be ready with an answer that would make me really feel at home in St. Louis.