My friend, Mei, told me that she turned 50 this year. I called Mei to wish her a Happy Birthday as it was too late to send her a birthday card. This is the second time I forgot the occassion in 27 years of our friendship. I never knew that Mei is three years older and have always thought we were of the same age. I looked out the kitchen window watching my husband blowing leave, getting ready for the city's weekly leaf collection schedule and recalled that Mei told me about how her parents made it clear that she should only marry someone of Chinese ethnic. How different from my parents that they welcome my husband with open arms. My parents have always been so accepting and only concern for their children's happiness. My mother had commented that my children being mixed race "My lai or Amerasian" would have been so cute! I thought of how Mei and I became friends, the years we have known each other and the tales of our lives. I met Mei when we attended LaGuardia Community College in Astoria, New York City. I helped Mei with her English composition, writing reports and she helped me with Algebra and Calculus. I was not good with computer programming classes either!
Mei and her husband, Kei and their children, Tei and Wei (not their real names, of course) live in Flushing, New York, in the same house since 1989. From the house, going to work in Manhattan, Mei either has to take a bus or Kei would drop Mei off at the subway station (#7 Flushing line). Mei has worked in accounting department at the same publishing company since she graduated in 1983. My office is only 15 minutes drive and I moved out of states twice, changed jobs a dozen times since 1983! Mei's family originally came from China, exactly where I never asked. Her father went to Hong Kong and a few years later joined by her mother and all three girls. The whole family came to America in 1979, a few months earlier before my family arrived (from Viet Nam, refugee camp in Indonesia) in New York early 1980. Mei said that her father half jokingly said that he had to leave China and then Hong Kong because he could not bare being made fun of having all girls and no son! 
We have always stayed in touch after I moved away. We tried to get together whenever I visited NYC. While Mei taking her children to swimming, dance classes or Chinese lessons, CP and I are living a carefree childless life, instead of taking Paulina to music lessons or Andrew to soccer games, we went on day trips and taking naps whenever. (Paulina and Andrew are our imaginary kids) I enjoyed seeing Tei and Wei growing up and became fine young people. Tei is currently a sophomore at a well-known art school and Wei is a high school senior. On the weekend, while we attend Sunday Mass or going to antique shops in Kimmswick, Mei probably visits her parents in Brooklyn, taking Wei to ACT classes or going to dim sum with her sisters. 
One time Mei and I were waiting for our trains to arrive. We stood on the same flatform but expected different trains, connecting to another train to Queens for me (back then I lived in Woodhaven) and Mei was single, living with her parents in Brooklyn. We talked about Mei's older sister, Zei and young sister, Yei, both had gotten married. About our little circle of friends from LaGuardia, Sei and Nei also were married. I jokingly said that whoever train arrived first would be next to get married. Looking back I realized that being 3 years older would be a big deal for Mei to get married and I also did not really care about being an old maid! Trying to finish my 4-year degree while working full time was my priority rather than finding a husband. I never forgot the horror and almost painful look on Mei's face when the train from Queens arrived. I thought it was funny, started to laugh but stopped when I saw the disappointment in Mei's eyes. We waved goodbye, said "See you later" but I could not forget what just took place. CP and I attended Mei's wedding in July 1988. The following year, Mei was seven months pregnant with Tei when CP and I came back to NYC for our 2nd reception (our church wedding and first reception were in Detroit) as my parents wanted to make sure their friends did not think I just ran away without a proper wedding ceremony. More than 20 years later, I still wonder if Mei ever thought of or even remember such incident with the trains.
My friend, Mei, told me that she turned 50 this year. I called Mei to wish her a Happy Birthday as it was too late to send her a birthday card. This is the second time I forgot the occassion in 27 years of our friendship. I never knew that Mei is three years older and have always thought we were of the same age. I looked out the kitchen window watching my husband blowing leave, getting ready for the city's weekly leaf collection schedule and recalled that Mei told me about how her parents made it clear that she should only marry someone of Chinese ethnic. How different from my parents that they welcome my husband with open arms. My parents have always been so accepting and only concern for their children's happiness. My mother had commented that my children being mixed race "My lai or Amerasian" would have been so cute! I thought of how Mei and I became friends, the years we have known each other and the tales of our lives. I met Mei when we attended LaGuardia Community College in Astoria, New York City. I helped Mei with her English composition, writing reports and she helped me with Algebra and Calculus. I was not good with computer programming classes either!
Mei and her husband, Kei and their children, Tei and Wei (not their real names, of course) live in Flushing, New York, in the same house since 1989. From the house, going to work in Manhattan, Mei either has to take a bus or Kei would drop Mei off at the subway station (#7 Flushing line). Mei has worked in accounting department at the same publishing company since she graduated in 1983. My office is only 15 minutes drive and I moved out of states twice, changed jobs a dozen times since 1983! Mei's family originally came from China, exactly where I never asked. Her father went to Hong Kong and a few years later joined by her mother and all three girls. The whole family came to America in 1979, a few months earlier before my family arrived (from Viet Nam, refugee camp in Indonesia) in New York early 1980. Mei said that her father half jokingly said that he had to leave China and then Hong Kong because he could not bare being made fun of having all girls and no son! 
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