CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC

"Big Weekend SALE - Shop Early - Extra Savings",

"Jump into July with Hot Values - Celebrate the Holiday with Great Savings",

"12 months with no payments, no interest"


The headlines jumped out at me in large print, not just the advertisement pages, but in all the sections of the newspaper. Retailers wanted to make sure that shoppers would be tempted to make unnecessary purchases by these great sales. I don't think most consumers need more encouragement of spending their money. We are a nation of "buy now", whether we need the items or not and forget about how to pay the bills later.

I thought it is humorous in selecting the title of this entry as my adoring fans know I dislike shopping. It is hard to believe that as a woman, living within 20 minutes of driving between two major shopping malls, yet the last time I went to either mall was a few months ago! If I enjoyed shopping, but lived in New York and not knowing how to drive, I would depend on my husband taking me shopping at those major outlets in New Jersey. I would not make my husband wait for me while I shop, so I usually go by myself if I need to do some shopping.

I remember from my days in Viet Nam when my Mom took me and my cousins, TH and PL, shopping for clothes, I was not interested in selecting the right fabrics or the latest styles. My Mom used to get upset and said that I was difficult.

I still have a few clothing articles I wore the day I left Viet Nam. Looking at the blue shirt with two front pockets, a pair of black pants, a white soccer jersey with two vertical black stripes on the long sleeves, I am surprised that these items survived the seven months in the refugee camps. There are also a blue skirt with two front side pockets, a pair of grey wool pants and a stonewash purple jacket. I have no idea whether these items were from Viet Nam or were given to me by someone in the refugee camp. I only remember that we could not bring luggages with us during the escape, so we wore many layers of clothing. Good things we did because it was cold at night. I do remember wearing a short red corduroy jacket at the beginning. Later, when my sister CH kept saying that she was cold, I gave her the jacket. I wonder when I last wore the jacket or it was too worn out to bring along to America.

I remember picking out the white soccer jersey to wear on the journey. Knowing the danger and possible death, I thought I would like to be buried in my favorite clothing.

I don't remember much how often we rotate the clothing and what we used to wash our clothes. Definitely there was no luxury of detergent, washing machine or even bars of soap. How did we manage with so few "outfits" in the seven months in the refugee camp?

I do remember the first time my sister CH and I went shopping for new clothes. The first day at the refugee agency, we were taken into a room full of donated clothing and told to pick out whatever we needed. My uncle also gave us some used and new clothes. Almost a year later, when we saved some money, we made our first shopping trip at Conway, a clothing store at the corner of 30th Street and Broadway, a few blocks from Macy's Department store.

That was the year when women wore bright colors, flash dance shirt was in fashion, ruffle dresses with half a dozen colors and I was still skinny and able to wear designer jeans. We had a great time shopping for new clothes and a good feeling that we shred a little bit of the past behind. Perhaps it was the feeling that we finally pass the huddle of being a charity case and that we were able to take care of ourselves. The next time someone tells me "Money does not buy happines", I will respond that money does buy happiness when you no longer wearing donated clothes, and you removed the price tag on a new clothing item that you paid for with the money you have earned.

A PENNY SAVED

It was a new penny, and under the sun its glittering caught my eyes. I picked it up and carefully put it in my pocket after I showed my father the shinning penny. I don't remember whether we were walking home or towards the subway, Pelham Parkway station (#4, 5 or 6 trains in the Bronx) to go somewhere. I only remembered the location near the park, two blocks from our apartment building when I saw my first American penny. It was February or March 1980. In the beginning, the refugee agency provided the rent for the apartment and a few hundred dollars for food and essential household items. Uncle Ping's wife gave my Mom one hundred dollars in cash as a welcome gift. With six of us in the family, we understood the money would not last long but it was a lot of money for our family as newly arrival refugees with only the clothes on our back. Intellectually I recognized there was little monetary value but I was so happy to pick up the shinning penny as if it was a gold coin. I even looked around to see if anyone would rush towards me and reclaimed the penny.

I remember my Mom used to buy subway tokens with the pennies she saved. The booth clerk made known his/her displeasure of having to count all the pennies (I think it was 50 cents for each token back in 1981) by throwing the token down the opening instead of pushing it thru. Mom would express in Vietnamese her feelings at the clerk for being rude before walking away.

My husband teases me about being careful with my money. I don't know whether my experience living in the refugee camp and my early days in America had made me a frugal person to this day. However, I am proud to say that I usually plan my purchases wisely. For example, though I had great respect for president Ronald Reagan, I was not willing to pay $35 for the recently published book, "The Reagan Diaries" edited by Douglas Brinkley. So I waited until the bookstore put the item on special members only discount at 40% ($14.00) off the listed price. Combining with the balance of $12.54 from a gift card I have earned from other purchases, I paid $8.46 for the book. What a deal!

I try to save money whether for personal purchases or for work. Like the time I waited for a coupon, buy 1 get 1 free, combined with a $20 off on purchases over $75. I saved a total of almost $50 for office supplies at my workplace.

While I was in Toronto, Canada, I saw an article about the Bank of Canada recommended that the Canadian government should eliminate the production of future pennies. A survey was conducted and reported that pennies are tossed into jars instead of being put back in circulation. Economists claimed that it is more hassle and costly to continue to produce pennies. In keeping with the average day's net pay, the study also suggested that a $5 coin be introduced. I learned that Canadians already have $2 coins which I had a bit difficulty trying to distinguish among the quarter, one dollar and two dollars coins.

I don't pick up pennies from the ground as often as I used to. I do believe, "A penny saved is a penny earned". Every cent saved will add up. However, I confess that I was one of those "penny-wise and pound-foolish", a person who is stingy about spending small amounts of money but spends recklessly on expensive items. (Like the time when we paid $600 for each ticket to the Superbowl XL.) However, having a good time at the Superbowl and experience once-in-a-lifetime championship game is priceless. For everything else I will save up my pennies.

WARNING SIGNS

A recent article in Sunday Parade magazine entitled, "7 Symptoms men should never ignore", brought to mind a regret I have and wishing I could have warned my Dad about the early signs of colon cancer.


By accident, my Mom discovered the bright red blood in the stool after my Dad came out of the bathroom, she insisted that he see the doctor. The surgery was scheduled quickly to remove the cancer in the colon. Unfortunately, it was too late as the cancer already spread to the liver. After two years of chemotherapy, the liver cancer took my Dad's life. He was only 66 years old. How I wish my Dad did not ignore the critical warning signs.


After I turned 40, I decided to undergo a colonoscopy. It was unpleasant but I knew it was important to take care of this as prevention and early detection. My sister and brothers also had the exams as we are considered high risk based on family history.


I am dedicating this entry to the memory of my Dad and encourage everyone, particularly the men, to take better care of their health by paying attention to the symptoms and make an appointment for a check-up immediately.


Chest pain - Don't discount as only heartburn and pay attention to less obvious signs.


Shortness of breath - It could be signs of congestive heart failure.

Unintended weight loss - Everyone tries to lose weight but not when it occurs suddenly and quickly. It could be an overactive thyroid gland or the first hint of cancer.


Blood in the urine or stool - Don't brush off and assume it is only hemorthoids. Early detection for colon cancer, kidney or bladder disease should be in order if there is bright red or dark blood in the urine or stool.


Changes in urination - A simple physical exam could help find early detections of prostate cancer.


Leg swelling - Could be underlaying cause and early warning of heart, kidney or liver disease


Skin lesions that don't go away - Wounds or ulcers that don't heal after a few days could be early clues of diabetes or skin cancer.


Please remember to have annual physical exam and remember real men take care of their health so that they would be around for a long time to take care of their families.


Please visit http://www.parade.com/ for a complete article on this Special Report on Men's Health.

I'M A LOSER

I am finally somewhat recovered from the disappointment of watching Game 5 of the Stanley Cup when the Aneheim Ducks defeated the Ottawa Senators and captured their first Stanley Cup. I came home late from a Board of Directors meeting and only saw the last few minutes of the game. I did not watch the Stanley Cup presentation as I could not stand seeing "you know who" hoisting the Cup as part of the celebration.

It was not a good week for me starting with the Detroit Pistons eliminated by the Cleveland Cavaliers. It was not much comforting that the San Antonio Spurs buried the Cavaliers in a sweep on their way to their fourth NBA championships in nine years. The Boston Celtics, Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers are the only other teams in NBA history with four championship titles.

I selected the title, I'm a loser, in keeping with my fondness of the Beatles. Don't worry, I am not turning into a self-pity, forty-plus person who is facing midlife crisis, mobbing around feeling sorry for myself. Of course, I could be blamed for being a jinx based on the true facts from an incidence took place at the St. Louis Blues practices in 2004. That was the year when the Blues signed Chris Osgood from the New York Islanders. (Remember the year when the Red Wings sent Osgood to the Islanders to make room for Hasek.) I began going to see the team practice on the Saturday mornings. There were many fans, mostly kids waiting to the end of practice session to get autographs from various players.

I only wanted to meet Chris Osgood but there were always long lines and Osgood did not stay long after he was done. So I decided to get autograph from another goalie named Brent Johnson. His grandfather is Sid Abel who played for the Detroit Red Wings in 1938-52, traded to the Chicago Blackhawks and back to the Red Wings in 1957-58. Two weeks later, Johnson was injured, sent down to minor league and then traded to the Phoenix Coyotes. (Johnson currently is listed with the Washington Capitals.)

A few weeks gone by, I was again in line waiting for Osgood and when I saw the head Coach Joel Quenneville, I asked for his autograph. Lo and behold, the following week he was terminated when the Blues loss their 10th straight game the night before.

Still determined to get Chris Osgood's autograph, I went back to the ice rink the following Saturday. My husband still laughs whenever he tells the story about how the minute I walked towards the rink, Chris Osgood took off from his goalie post, skated so fast to the opposite side where I was and almost disappeared like a laser beam to the locker room. CP explained that Osgood heard about how I jinxed Johnson and Coach Quenneville. The words have been whispered around the ice rinks to all hockey players not to sign autograph for the short, chubby Asian woman.
Perhaps the best thing I could do for my favorite team is to cheer for the opponents and jinx their players with my request of autographs.

OH DEER (WE ARE THE PROUD GRANDPARENTS)

We are proud to announce that our deer daughter, June, gave birth to a healthy baby. Heidi is our first deer grand-daughter. Only three days old, Heidi already is prancing around the yard. We are so happy to become first time grand-parents.

What a coincidence that after almost 12 years, we finally saw a deer in our backyard, right on the weekend when we celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary. We thought the name "June" would be fitting for the mother. We were not sure the gender of the fawn, so we decided on the name "Heidi". We got married at St. Hedwig Catholic Church in Detroit. (My brother VL is a punster and would appreciate how we transformed "Hedwig" into "Heidi".) We considered Heidi a fitting name for the baby deer. If the fawn was a male, then Patrick would be the name as I was baptised at St. Patrick's Church a year after we got married.

I first spotted June on Friday evening, as I looked out the kitchen window. I was surprised to see her standing in the middle of our backyard. I called my husband who was on his way home from work. I could not contain my excitement, I also called Mom and my sister CH. I told my husband that the deer looked heavy and subdue. The next day, we found a fawn hiding in the brush outside our spare bedroom window. Our neighbors started to come over to see the baby. It was an exciting weekend for the neighborhood.


I tried calling a nearby Wildlife Center and was told not to do anything as the deer did not need any help from us human. Here is another example of the wonderful world wide web. I found out from many wildlife websites about deer and their fawns. I learned that female deer give birth from late May to early July. The peak of births occurs in mid-June. That did not stop us from feeling special that a baby deer was born right on our wedding anniversary. The doe usually has only one fawn at her first birth. Wow, Heidi is the first born, just like grandma.


The fawns learned to lay low in the grass and well camouflaged by the spots on their coats and nearly odorless to provide protection from enemies who use their sense of smell to locate prey. That was the reason Heidi laying low in the shrubs. As we tried to stay away and only watched from the kitchen windows, June was keeping watch on Heidi with both her ears standing straight. I learned that if June was not nearby, she did not abandon her baby. The mother stays away from her fawns to avoid attract undue attention to the babies.


By Saturday afternoon, June and Heidi became comfortable with us. We were able to move real close and my husband captured many precious moments using his Canon camera and a good zoom lense. One of the photos showed June gently nudged Heidi to get up when the baby fell down. CP also captured a few photos of June feeding Heidi or June cleaning Heidi. At one point, it looked as if June was trying to teach Heidi to jump over the fence. Heidi came close to the fence and from her bleating, it sounded as if she told her mother that she was not ready.


The most wonderful moment happened on Sunday morning as we again watched June and Heidi pacing in our backyard. All of the sudden, Heidi started runnung around the yard, easily maneuvered around the utility shed, a few sharp turns around the apple tree. There was no verbal communication, yet from the way June turned her head, we knew she offered encouragement to Heidi as the baby became stronger and tried to show that she was fast enough to keep up. And then both mother and daughter took off together towards the nearby park.


We waved goodbye to June and Heidi, our deer daughter and grand-daughter. We hope they will come back to visit, not only when they are hungry or need a place to stay.

(Saturday, June 16th - June came back in the morning for a few hours and CP thought June wanted to wish him a Happy Father's Day.)

LET ME SHOW YOU ST. LOUIS

I think of my nephew JL often. JL is six years old and lives in New York. I would love to spend time with JL and together we would enjoy all the fun things St. Louis has to offer. I would simply love watching JL while he rides the bike around the neighborhood. Looking at JL, I often thought of VL when he was my little brother, sitting in the back seat of my bike and the time when we walked around the neigbhorhood picking up soda bottle caps.

There are many fun things in St. Louis for families to enjoy that do not cost a lot. I wish we had more time when JL visited us in 2005 so we could visit a few more places/activities (in random order) in addition to the Gateway Arch, the Zoo and the Science Center:

Grant's Farm ~ This is a very hand-on place, wonderful for kids and I know JL would enjoy feeding a bottle of milk or hand-feed the goats or riding the train around the farm. The Budweiser Clydesdale stables, both the clydesdale and foals are on exhibit. The grounds include Grant's Cabin, the log home built in 1856 by Ulysses S. Grant.


World Bird Sanctuary ~ About 200 birds make their home at this 305-acre sanctuary. Part of the park is a refuge and rehabilitation for injured birds. On display are owls, falcons, eagles, pelicans, hawks, vultures and pigeons.


Lone Elk Park ~ I did not know about this place and it is less than 15 minutes driving from my house. There are the eponymous elk (some are over 600 pounds and 8 feet tall), the hulking bison, 2,000 pound buffalo, wild turkey and white tailed deer.


Dental Health Theater ~ There are 16 illiminated teeth, each about three feet long and a five-foot tall toothbrush on display. There is an antique dentist's chair (without the instruments used in the movie "The Marathon Man" starring Dustin Hoffman, where the main character was asked, "Is it safe?" while his tooth was being pulled off as a torture). Kids learn about taking care of their teeth thru a puppet show and a 45-minute presentation.


Let's end this entry with a sweet note ~ JL, VL and my Mom all love sweet, so does my husband - it runs in the family.


Custard Heaven ~ What is custard? Custard typically contains 10 percent butterfat and 1.4 percent egg yolk and is more dense than ice cream. St. Louis most famous Ted Drewes Frozen Custard serves concrete that consists of devil's food cake topped with custard, hot fudge and whipped cream. Or you could get a vanilla custard with hot fudge, caramel and pecans. My favorite would be a smoothie that is made with coconut, pineapple and a healthy banana.


I thought my brother (VL enjoys running and completed the New York City Marathon a few years ago) would enjoy reading the next event, not in St. Louis, but is still fun to participate ~


Tour De Donut in Stanton, Illinois ~ A 32-mile ride that starts and ends with glazed donuts being served to all participants. The glazed donuts are available at two stops 10-mile in between along the route. Here is the sweet deal, for every donut eaten, participants get 5-minute off their time at the finish line.


As my brother is trying to get JL to slim down and do more physical activities, let's hope VL will not think that I am a bad influence on JL for talking too much about custard and glazed donuts.

WIN SOME, LOSE SOME

"I am not available," I yelled out to my husband as the phone started to ring. I was trying to watch game 3 of the Stanley Cup (hockey) between Ottawa Senators v. Anaheim Ducks and game 6 of the NBA (basketball) Eastern Conference between the Detroit Pistons v. Cleveland Cavaliers. I was in the living room watching the hockey game on the large screen television. I position the television in the family room so I could have a direct view of the Pistons game from where I was sitting in the living room. I kept an eye on both games switching channels during commercial breaks.

My husband still teases me of being a sport fanatic about the time when I commented, "Who would be calling during the Superbowl?" when the phone rang during the game. CP said (and I agreed) that not everyone in the country cared about Superbowl if their teams were not in the game. Before-Tom Brady (BTB) and Before-New England Patriots (BNEP), I did not care much about Superbowl either. I agree that there are other important things in life than sports.

I think watching sports give people (or a short, chubby, middle-age woman like me) a feeling of being part of something beyond their own inability, the physical shortcomings. I could yell at the players for losing the puck or Ben Wallace not making the free throws or Tom Brady throwing an interception. For a few hours, I could pretend that my opinions matter and when my team won the game, I was there to celebrate the victory, forgetting about the boring routine of daily tasks.

For the 2nd straight years, the Detroit Pistons, being the top-seeded in the NBA Eastern Conference, did not reach the finals. Just like the Red Wings, the Pistons won the first two games but crushed the fans by losing the next four games to the Cleveland Cavaliers. For all the three-pointers by Prince, Hamilton and Wallace, the Cavaliers won game 6 with 15 points lead. They will face San Antonio Spurs in game 1 in the NBA finals on Thursday, June 7.

I am pleased to report that the Senators played a strong and solid game against the Ducks to win game 3 (5-3). It was a great game, especially the go-ahead goal deflected by the Ducks' player into his own net. You could tell how much I dislike this player that I won't even mention his name. This player has records a mile long of using his physical status to do harm to others. I never forget the incident when he tried to hurt Steve Yzerman knowing fully that Stevie played with one bad leg and a knee awaiting surgery. Let's hope for a repeat of performance from the Senators on game 4, Monday, June 4.

So that was how it happened - you win some, you lose some.

Mayday, Mayday, Mayday

Twenty eight years ago, May 25, 1979, my family left Viet Nam and became boat people that attracted the world's attention after the Fall of Saigon in April 1975. After five days, we survived the storm that almost sank our boat and landed in an island called Karamut in Indonesia. (I searched for the correct spelling but the listing of islands in Indonesia did not produce any similar spelling.) Compared to others, we were fortunate that we did not encounter the pirates. I did not know that we were among 160,000 of Vietnamese boat people who were part of the exodus of refugees floundering in the South China Sea in rickety boats during the year 1979. We became the symbols of people who suffered oppressions, willing to face the trials of life and death at sea, so desperate for freedom that we were willing to risk everything for a chance of a better life in an unknown country.

Originally my parents wanted to send me and my youngest brother, VL out of the country. I was eighteen years old and VL was eleven. We could not gather enough gold to pay for the passage of the whole family. The plan was once VL and I safety resettled, preferably Australia, we would try to help the rest of the family get out of Viet Nam. My maternal grandmother would not want my other sister CH and brother TL to leave because of their physical disabilities, she thought they would not survive the journey.

I learned from Wikipedia that the word Mayday derived from the French - m'aidez, meaning "help me". It is an emergency code that always given three times in a row. I imagine the following distress call sending from our boat "Number 059" My Tho - (According to my Mom, #059 was assigned to another boat by the officials but that boat encountered problems. The officials re-assigned #059 to our boat and My Tho was the port where we would depart.)

...... Mayday Mayday Mayday

.........This is Number 059 My Tho

......... Position - somewhere in South China Sea or Pacific Ocean
..............Nature of distress - our boat is sinking, filling with water, up to our knees, the pirates are chasing us and the only engine is dead.

.......... Aid required - immediate assistance

.......... Number of people on board - about 200 people - we have no naval equipment. No lifevests, no lifeboat.

....... Over

I don't remember whether there were any passing ships. After three days, we were terrified that no one would find us and we could be left to die. There was no coast guard to launch lifeboats or helicopters to rescue us. There was no nearby ships that would be willing to divert course to assist. By 1979, saving the Vietnamese boat people was no longer a glamourous act. Public sympathy from the international community was lessen. Media coverage of people in crowded boats in open sea with no place to go had become old news. Countries such as Hong Kong, Thailand and Malaysia could no longer handle the massive daily arrival of hundreds of thousands of refugees and demanded assistance from potential resettlement countries such as Canada, Australia, France and particularly the United States.

Listening to the BBC on the radio, we learned that Singapore, Taiwan and Japan would not allow the refugees to land. Passing ships that picked up refugees were not able to unload at these nearby countries. I realized now why we were threaten at gunpoint by the Malaysia coast guard to get to another port even though our boat was damaged by the storm. The Malaysia did not want their country to be swamped with unwanted refugees and declared that Vietnamese boat people would be shot if trying to land.

Twenty eight years later, part of the boat journey is still fresh in my memory but the details had become blurry. I wonder if it is old age or I am just trying to forget that it really happened. Perhaps it was just a nightmare and that I was not one of the people screaming for help "Mayday, mayday, mayday", watching the giant wave rushing towards the side of our tiny boat and no one responded.

OH CANADA

No, I will not attempt to make a YouTube video of me singing the Canadian anthem. I will not write about the history of Canada, the people or about Canadians' (and mine) passion for ice hockey. I thought the title would be appropriate as the Ottawa Senators and Aneheim Ducks are battling to capture the Stanley Cup.

I don't know much about the Senators and its players. I find it interesting but not unusual that there are more non-Canadians (players from Russia, West Germany and Czechoslovakia) on Senators' roster compared to Aneheim Ducks. There are more Canadian players on the Ducks' roster, a California hockey team, than Senators supposedly a Canadian team.

(Latest News - the Ducks won (3-2) game 1 on Monday, May 28th. Game 2 was on Wednesday, May 30th - the Ducks won again 1-0. It was a good goal when Pahlsson (Ducks) sent the puck through Senators' defenseman Corvo's legs, surprised goalie Ray Emery and scored the only goal of the game. I hope home ice will give the Senators extra energy and motivation to win Game 3 on Saturday, June 2nd. )

The first time I visited Canada was in 1984 during a trip to Seatle, WA to visit a childhood friend from Viet Nam. Jai Sing (JS) moved to Seatle in 1982. JS, Juon Ling (JL) and I were good friends and we spend hours playing basketball after school. JL went to Germany early 1979 before I left Viet Nam. JS also left Viet Nam by boat and was sponsored by his sister who lived in Seatle. I think JS lived in a refugee camp in Malaysia for a year or so. We kept in touch for a few years but somehow the writing stopped and the connection was broken. I never heard from neither JS nor JL. When I was in Seatle, we drove to Vancouver but I don't remember much about the city. We came back to the US without any problem showing only our driver license. I did not have a passport because I was not eligible to apply for U.S. citizenship until 1986.

I made several trips to Ontario, Toronto during 1987. When the appropriate time comes, I will write more about how I almost moved to Canada. Looking back, it was unbelievable and somewhat comical that I would even consider making the move. I am not being disrespectful to the country of Canada, it was a personal situation and I am not comfortable to explain any further at this point.

I went back to Canada in July 1991, as a married woman, during a camping trip in Niaraga Falls with my husband, CP. We drove from Michigan to Buffalo, NY. (I was not a hockey fanatic back then, so I did not take any photos standing in front of the Buffalo Sabres arena.) We drove into Canada and went on the Maid of the Mist boat ride.) I remembered getting wet and almost fell a few times on slippery ground.

I really liked the photo in my passport. I was so ready to show off my "beautiful" photo, but the agent at the border just looked into our truck, asked a few questions such as where we lived, what we did while in Canada and where we were going. He did not even speak to me or asked me any questions. The agent took CP words that I was his wife and that we were on a camping trip. Later CP told me that I looked too Americanized that the border agent had no reason to ask any questions. How did I become Americanized, that is a good topic for future entry.

My most recent trip into Canada was in July 2002 when we were in Vancouver awaiting for our departure on a cruise to Alaska. Part of the cruise included a train ride into the Yukon. This time the border agent asked for everyone's passport. I presented mine with the photo that of a 40+ years old chubby woman. I wonder if I looked more Americanized!

This summer we are planning a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto. We renewed our passports last month. Even though I saw in one of the websites mentioned that U.S. citizens do not have to present valid passports to travel to and back from Canada, we will bring our passports to make sure we have no problem getting back into the United States.

Just a thought - the last sentence in the U.S. national anthem, "The land of the free, the home of the brave" and in the Canadian national anthem, "We stand on guard for thee." Is it coincidence or firm statements about true brotherhoods?

THE SIMPLE LIFE

Yesterday while I was cutting the peppermint in our backyard, a baby rabbit jumped out of the barrel and hopped all the way to next door neighbor's garden. I started looking further among the peppermint and there were two or three more tiny rabbits trying to hide in the corner. I hurried up with my peppermint, went into the house and watched the rabbits from the kitchen window. I washed the peppermint to put into the water and the ice tea pitchers, added a few drops of fresh lemon and ice cubes so we could have refreshing and healthy drinks instead of soda or expensive artificial drinks.

I don't remember what year, must be about five years ago that my husband put a row of three wooden half-barrels in the back of the garage, filled them up with soil so I could plant a few tomatoes, green pepper and hot red pepper. At each corner of the patio, CP also put two more barrels and planted some flowers for me to enjoy from the kitchen windows.

The first year we harvested a dozen of tomatoes, good size of green pepper and a handful of red pepper. The second year did not turn out profitable as we again spent almost $50 worth of little plants and harvested only a few tiny tomatoes, pitiful looking green pepper and again a handful of red pepper. We decided not to plant anything the following year and purchased the tomatoes and peppers from the store.

In July 2005, after my Mom came to visit, I found some left over peppermint that my Mom did not use in her cooking. I decided to plant them in one of the barrels. Actually all I did was covering half of the peppermint with dirt and water weekly or whenever I remembered while sitting outside reading my books. Summer in St. Louis could be unbearable not only with the tempature almost 100 degrees but also the humidity and still air circulation. I was pleasantly surprised to find the peppermint growing, filling up the barrels without any help from me.

The peppermint came back last summer and again this year. We agreed that instead of wasting another $50 on tomatoes and pepper plants, peppermint will be the only plants in the barrels. I also try to find out the name of a plant to serve as a backup in case the plants my mother has fondly nurtured again accidently destroyed. During a recent phone conversation, Mom mentioned that the plants she has been using in her special cakes and also for medical usage in controlling diabetes had died. I listened while she explained what happened. I learned to let Mom talk and didn't try to comfort her or offer solutions because she only wanted someone to listen to her story. She told me that this special plant was only available from California. I am glad to report that when I called this week, Mom said that a few new leave came back but it would take a few months before the plants would be full with usable leave again.

Last week we found a bird nest in the flower basket hanging in our front porch. The protective mother flies away whenever we open our front door. She did not go far, just above the roof as if keeping an eye on the nest. Today, there are two little eggs in the nest. Last year, we also found a bird nest on the supporting beam above the garage. The nest is still there but it is empty. We jokingly said that the bird has moved to a wealthy neighborhood or to Florida!

This year we decided to add minor landscaping to our yard. For the front of the house, we plan to replace the old rotten railroad wooden logs with brick walls. CP plans to install retaining walls along the fence in the backyard. He has worked deligently the last few weeks to clear the bushes. One day as I watched CP worked, I saw a robin following as CP unearthed the ground, the robin bravely swept down very close to CP and flew off with the worms. I watched the robin and realized that there were three little birds with their mouths opened waiting to be fed in a nest high on a nearby tree. I stood and watched the robin repeating her feeding. I learned to enjoy the moment instead of rushing to find a camera to take photos. I learned to be in the moment. I learned to live a simple life by watching the rabbits and the robins living their simple lives.

THE SOUND OF SILENCE

(This entry was started on May 15th and I am finally posting it today, May 29th - more than a week later.)

I finally went to see Doc and the hearing problem was taken care of. To all my adoring fans, "I can hear you now"!

It was a simple case of built up wax that stubbornly would not get loosen, even after a few days of using the $40 drops. The wax continued to lodge in my ears causing temporary hearing loss. I never had my ears cleaned before. It was done by such a simple method by flushing the ears with warm water using a syringe from the outer ears. What a relief feeling after the wax was dislodged. After the procedure, the buzzing from tinnitus condition was not as loud and my hearing not only back to normal but has become clearer and so much better. I will make sure to have my ears checked and cleaned at the annual check-up.

For a few days after I started using the drops, the condition did not improve. I decided instead of turning the volumn real high so I could hear, I watched various television programs without actually hearing. After one evening of guessing what is being said, I decided not to watch any television. I did not miss much. In fact, it was kind of nice. I finished a lot of reading (magazine articles I have been saving) and spend time reading books I borrowed from the library so I would not have to renew too many times.

In the morning, after I got up, instead of turning on the news, I stood by the kitchen window, with a cup of coffee in hand, I watched the rabbits hopping around the yard, the birds dashing up to the tree carrying away a piece of bread we threw out, and the squirrels trying to stop the birds from taking their shares. I would not go too far to say that silence was golden as I would like to get my hearing back to normal. I would not agree that it is always best not to speak. There are situations that require the person to voice their opinions, to set the records straight and not allowing others to dominate the conversation. I do enjoy the quiet moments and was glad that I had the options.

We saw Simon & Garfunkel during their 2004 Tour. We enjoyed the concert and I even sang along when I recognized a familiar song. I thought the song "The Sound of Silence" would be a fitting for this entry about my temporary hearing loss. On the wall along the pool table in our basement, there are framed programs and tickets from a few concerts (all in St. Louis) we have been to in the last few years. We attended Sir Paul McCartney U.S. Tour in 2002, Neil Diamond in 2003 and the Rolling Stone Concert in early 2006. Two weeks later, we saw "Mick and the boys" again, performed at half-time at the Superbowl XL in Detroit. (In March 2006, while on a cruise with my sister, I took a bus tour in Jamaica and the tour guide pointed out a house that belongs to Mr. Jagger.) We thought "Mick" might think we stalked him or that we were too old to be groupies.

Now that my hearing is back to normal, I no longer yell "Help" and no longer "Twist and Shout"!

INTERESTING HOCKEY STORIES

By now my adoring fans realize that I am a hockey maniac and a sport fanatic. Here are some interesting hockey stories if you care to read.

I like the story about the family of Jean-Sebastien (J.S.) Giguere (#35) the goalie of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. When Jiggy was growing up in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, his father worked as prison warden and his mother worked as a school shuttle (bus) driver. When the cost of hockey equipment grew too expensive, Dad asked JS, the youngest child in the family, whether JS wanted to continue to play hockey. When JS said yes, his parents took out a mortgage from their home to pay for the expenses. Whether it was 100% pure parental love or faith in their 12 years old child that one day he will become one of the skilled goalies in National Hockey League, it really touched my heart to read this story. (Considering I am a fanatic Detroit Red Wings fan). Latest news (May 22nd when I finally posted this entry) - the Ducks eliminated my beloved Red Wings in game 6, playing a dominating game and an impressive lead half way thru the 3rd period. The Red Wings came back and scored two power-play goals within one minute, but it was too little too late. The Ducks won 4-3 and on their way to face Ottawa Senators in the Stanley Cup finals. Game 1 starts on Monday, May 28th.

Next story is about a player who was "diamond in the rough", Pavel Datsyuk (#13) Detroit Red Wings center. Datsyuk has been one of my favorite hockey players. The 28-year old native of Sverdlovsk, Russia, was overlooked for many years by scouts who thought he was too small and would not be fast enough to be in the NHL. At 5'11", 185 lbs, Datsyuk would be small compared to most of the other players over 6'1" and more than 200 lbs. That is the whole point - Datsyuk is not an enforcer, he is a hockey player with magical hands. He moves the puck as if it was on a string, invisible string from his stick, release at the right moment to a teammate or shoot the puck on the moves that others could only dream of. Datsyuk shoots when you thought he could not and when the goalie thought he would pass the puck. I enjoy watching Datsyuk because of his natural skills, balance on his skates, the speed and strength from his legs and the "silky-smooth" passes that kept opponents guessing.

I also thought we are all "Datsyuk" until someone recognizes our talents and provides the opportunity to shine. Many times in life I was not given a chance because I speak with a foreign accent, because of my gender or because I was not assertive and battle my way through to get to the front. A classic example would be when I discussed taking on the responsibility as public relations person for AFCO, RJS (my former employer, a great coach and a special person) did not hesitate because English was not my first language and that I did not have any background in the area of print media. RJS believed in me and my potentials. (Please read entry on February 19, 2007 entitled Happy Birthday, RJS.) We all need someone to believe in us and to recognize "diamond in the rough" in each of us.

Unable to have children, I find this story personally interesting. A woman who was told by her doctor that she would not be able to have children after trying more than a decade unsuccessfully. Then one day when she and her husband happened to be at an event to celebrate the Colorado Avalanche Stanley Cup championship in 1996, the woman placed a kiss on the Stanley Cup. Later, the couple shocked the physician and their family when they gave birth to a baby boy and named him, Stanley. There you have it, the Stanley Cup is truly a magical trophy, not just for hockey fans, but for anyone who believes in traditions. The Stanley Cup is more than just a championship award, it is a great symbol of 114 years of sportmanship, inspiration, motivation and celebration of individual achievement and team efforts.

Another disappointing season came to an end for all the Detroit Red Wings fans. I thought at least the Red Wings was not (so embarassed) eliminated in the first round like the last couple of years. But then I got so mad thinking how could they played so well in game 3 (the score was 5-0 - shutout the Ducks), took control and scored early, all the four lines were solid with speed, puck possession, passing with laser accuracy, no rebounds, keeping the pucks out of the zone and did not take too many penalties. It was as if they ran out of steam or the balloon leaking air, the Red Wings forgot how to play hockey and lost the last three games.

You probablly want to know which team, Ottawa Senators v. Anaheim Ducks, I would cheer for. I think it is time the Stanley Cup is returned back to Canada. Go Senators Go!

SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL

This entry is not about the movie See No Evil, Hear No Evil, a 1989 comedy film starring Gene Wilder as a deaf man and Richard Pryor as a blind man who became each other's eyes and ears when they became the prime suspects of a murder. They worked together to tracked down the real killers while evaded the police and ultimately cleared their name when the killers were captured.

It is not about the Japanese Three Wise Monkey either. According to the wonderful Wikipedia, the Three Wise Monkey are Mizaru, covering his eyes - sees no evil; Mikazaru, covering his ears - hears no evil and Mazaru, covering his mouth - speaks no evil. There are a less well-known fourth money, Shizaru, covering his middle body with folded hands - does no evil. I have always thought the sayings, "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" was about not to be snoopy, nosey and speading gossips. I learned from the page that the expression is also used to describe someone who doesn't want to be involved in a situation, or someone turning a willful blind eye to the immorality of an act he is involved in.

This entry is about an ordeal that happend to me this week when I was not able to hear and see clearly while driving home from an annual eye examination. Early in the week, I experienced full feeling in my left ear when I woke up one morning. The next two days, it got worsen as my hearing became muffled, blocked and the rustling sound added to the already buzzing noise from existing condition of tinnitus. About ten years ago, I had bronchitis for almost two weeks. I developed tinnitus from the constant whooping cough which somehow damaged my ears.

After a couple of days using over-the-counter drops hoping that it would provide relief of the wax builds up. By the end of the week, I called my doctor for help as the loss of hearing gotten worse. Doc told me to stop using the OTC drop. He wrote a prescription that cost me almost $40 plus a box of Sudafed for nasal congestion. I also had an eye exam the same day.

It was a sunny afternoon when I left the ophthalmologist's office. Because it was an annual exam, my eyes were dilated for a complete exam for any sign of glaucoma as many in my family have this terrible disease. There I was, unable to put on sunglasses because I was wearing my nearsighted glasses, not the regular contact lenses. My vision became blurry as the brightness reflected thru the windshield, bouncing off the dashboard and straight into my dilated eyes.

It was the longest 15 minutes driving in my life as I could not hear well and see well beyond the bumper of the vehicle in front of me. I decided to get off a major six-lane road as I began to slow down and could not keep up the speed limit. As luck would have it, after I exited and got on a four-lane road, about a mile or two down, the right lane was closed due to construction. Unable to see, I did not dare to merge left and had to stop completely, with my blinking left turn signal, I waited for a driver with a kind soul to let me in. Of course, with my left ear unable to hear well, the driver had to honk loudly to let me know that he/she had stopped to let me merge. I waved to thank him/her and hoped that he/she did not think I was an illegal immigrant, not knowing how to drive or don't even have a driver license or insurance.

I am glad to report that I got home safety without causing an accident. I tried not to get nervous and hope that the condition is only temporary. Unable to read nor hear, I decided to take a nap. Originally, I wanted to schedule the eye exam and six-month appointment with the dentist on the same day. I would have been truly, see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil.

I did become concerned when my husband came home from work and asked me to turn the television down because it was too loud. Normally, it was me who complained to my husband about the volumn when he watches his macho movies such as The Terminator or Gladiator. Call me vain, at 46 years old I am not ready to enlist the help of a hearing aid. Let's give the $40 prescription a day or two more.

To my adoring fans, thank you for your get well wishes, I heard the wishes "loud & clear" :0 :)

RANDOM STORIES

Here are a few random stories I saw in the newspapers:

How do you spell "celebration"? Actually it was a very simple word but was mispelled in a big way. The day after the St. Louis Cardinals captured its World Series Championship in October last year, a young man went to a local tattoo parlor with a special request to have "St. Louis Cardinals, World Series Championship, 2006" in red ink, etch across his back. The tattoo "artist" completed the request but not exactly what the customer asked for. The finished etching proclaims St. Louis Cardinals as "Worlb" Championship, 2000! The New York Yankees won the series in 2000. A lawsuit is pending in St. Louis County Circuit Court. The young man stated that for now he plans to attend Cardinals games with his shirt on and he definitely will offer his help to anything who wishes to know about how to select a qualified tattoo parlor/artist because he does not want to turn his back on the "worlb".

Someone told me one time that because of the heavy work load, the company would not allow any employee to take a day off unless the reason is to attend his/her own funeral. A 36-year woman in St. Charles, Missouri learned that she was dead when her loan application was rejected, reason "Applicant deceased". For the last three months, the woman called the credit bureau, even enlisted federal and state agencies to correct the "deadly" mistake. None was able to help her because they did not know what to do. For now, the woman is living between two worlds or having one foot in the grave. Seriously, I sure hope the situation will be resolved.


I think my brother VL would find the next story interesting. It was about a report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change conference took place earlier this month in Bangkok, Thailand, concluded that rice production was a main cause of rising methane emissions in the 20th century. The report explained that the bacteria that thrive in flooded paddies that produce methane, by decomposing manure used as fertilizer and other organic matter in the oxygen-free environment. The gas is emitted through the plants or directly into the atmosphere. (I have no idea what I just typed. My brother "Qaptain Qwerty" wrote that in these days of instant web search via Google and other readily available source of information, someone who just happened to know how to look things up quickly could be mistakenly regarded as a smart person. However, one has to be smart to know where to look up information quickly, agree?) The government have encouraged rice farmers to drain their fields periodically to help reduce methane emissions. The farmers simply ignored the calls citing the high cost of draining the fields. Do I have to feel guilty the next time I place a large order of steamed rice?

Let's hope that the smart scientists will find the ways to save the "worlb" and keeping the earth alive and healthy for a few more million years.

WHERE AMERICA LIVES

The Special Issue in the Sunday (May 6, 2007) Parade Magazine was about the real estate market, the hot and the lowdown, the home prices around the country and suggestions for home buyers on how to get the best price and sellers who wish to sell their homes quickly. I specially like the section, "What you can get for $150,000 or more .....".

It is true that in most parts of the country, houses are lingering longer on the market. The house next to us has been on the market for more than a year. I did not become nervous when signs for sale popping up around our neighborhood. Just our block alone, there are six houses for sale. A realtor told me one time that people usually put their house on the market or looking for purchase thus moving, when school is out and the weather is nice. No one likes to move during school year and when it is cold and snowing in the winter.

My sister, CH told me that she could get about $300K for her one bedroom apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn. She paid only $100K ten years ago. She would like to move to Manhattan but could not find a place, smaller than the current apartment, for less than $500K. That is half a million dollars. For that amount, I could get a whole house, 4 bedrooms with walk-in closets, 3 1/2 bath, mid-size kitchen, family and living rooms, full basement, 3-car garage, large backyard and a whole lot more in my neighborhood.

My brother wrote that every time when he visits his friend in South Brunswick, New Jersey (approximately 40 minutes from NYC), VL wanted to move out of New York City, to live in a house with a large back yard, enough room for a trampoline for his son to jump and do forward flip. I know VL would love to have his own driveway, a garage for his vehicle and not searching for a parking space each time he moves his car or the only space is three blocks away and has to walk back to the house when it is cold and snowing.

Here are a few comparisons for the money - A home with 2-bedroom and 2-bath in New Orleans, LA costs $180K while in Oklahoma City, OK for $10K more, you would get a 4 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bath and a 2,408 square feet of living space. I was surprised to read that a condo with 1 bedroom, 1 bath and an attached garage only costs $186K in Las Vegas, NV compared to $244K for similar space (1 bedroom, 1 bath) in Newark, NJ. If I could, I would move tomorrow to Colorado Springs, CO to live in a 2,840 square feet, 5-bedroom, 3-bath, fully furnished (modern furniture) and decorated home for only $310K or a log cabin of 2-bedrooms, 1 bath and a dream-come-true for my husband, a 5-car garage in Casper, Wyoming. The log cabin is surrounded by old-growth pines. I could finally spend all the time doing all the craft projects I have been planning to make. Ya right!

I pick out a house in Bend, Oregon, for my brother, a 2,800 square-foot home with scenic decks, custom built-ins made with environmentally sustainable materials, energy efficiency and indoor air quality. Price - $699K.

In a perfect world, I would not want a big and fancy home, just a decent home in a safe neigbhorhood and about an hour from where my brother lives so on the weekends I could take my nephew to the zoo, to go camping, to kid activities or just playing in the backyard.

My brother is searching for a new job. Though VL dislikes the crowded streets and all the big city headache, he is not ready to leave the NYC. I know no one from my family will ever consider moving to St. Louis and I am not sure if I will ever moving back to live in NYC, unless there is a major change in my martial status or better yet, I got lucky winning a jackpot from weekly lottery tickets. St. Louis lack many things that are readily available in NYC. For me, the only thing I miss the most from NYC is my nephew.

THE BLAME GAME

In her book "The New DON'T BLAME MOTHER - Mending the Mother-Daughter Relationship", the author Paula J. Caplan, Ph. D. suggested to the readers that they should get to know their mothers as a person and not to worship or condemn. The author further explained that when we understand the struggles, the real-life trials our mothers have experienced, we become connected with our mothers in a more humanness and a less perfect image of what mothers should be.

There is a Vietnamese expression, "Con hu tai me", when a child is spoiled/astrayed or misbehaved (you get the idea), it is the mother's fault. An article in Psychology Today argued that there are other factors contributing to the children's problems and that mothers are not always the root of kids' behavioral and emotional problems. Researchers who follow theories that say mothers are responsible for kids' psychopathology will always find mothers as the cause for any kind of disorders in the children's development and troubled mental state as adults.

In the case of the recent tragic at Virginia Tech, the writer in a commentary in the AsianWeek.com online magazine blamed the parents of the gunman for their long hours of working in the dry cleaning business, for pushing the children too hard when it comes to education, getting into the right college, the highest SAT/ACT scores and in their quest to pursuit the American Dream, forgot to show love to the children. The writer implied that because the parents were strict, did not hug and tell the child "I/We love you", the child felt unloved and cannot bring himself to love others, thus became a psychotic mass murderer.

The first time I hugged my parents and kissed them on the cheeks was at my wedding when I was 28 years old. Growing up in Viet Nam, under traditional Asian culture, my parents did not hugged and kissed me when I went to school in the morning and again greeted me with hugs and kisses when I came home. We did not expressed our love through physical closeness or frequent touching. I just knew my parents loved me and they would take good care of me.

In Viet Nam, constantly reminders of family pride and honor were expressed verbally, "Do not shame the family", "Do not let us (parents) down", "Behave properly so people will know that you come from a good family." After we came to America, my parents often commented about individuals, especially young Asians, whose manners did not meet their approval and warned us children not to bring shame not only to the family but also to the entire Asian race. While my parents encouraged us to seek higher education, to master the English language, to get good jobs, to be productive citizens and become a part of American culture, they reminded us that we, as Asian Americans, would never find complete acceptance in American society. As Vietnamese American, we should try to prove that we are a "worthwhile ethnic minority in America".

Other comments were posted to the commentary blaming the parents for making the children's lives a living hell with their "dog and pony show". Another person wrote that parents who worked long hours more likely neglected their children physically and mentally; therefore, implying that the gunman was not responsible for what he did and his parents were accountable for not providing the love he needed.

As society, we have become a nation of victims, blaming someone else for our mistakes, believe that we are free from moral responsibility because something happened or caused by mothers, parents, employers and that we are entitled to sympathy, thus our actions are justifiable. My parents were strict and they never hugged, kissed or said that they loved me, yet I did not turn out to be a psychotic killer. There are many first generation Korean Americans who worked 12-14 hours to make a better life for their children and the children in turn understand the sacrifice the parents have made.

I see the physical closeness between my brother, VL and his son, much different with my parents when VL was growing up. VL and my nephew spent more time on outdoor activities and working on projects as father and son. Do I wish that my parents hugged and kissed me more often when I was growing up in Viet Nam? Maybe. Do I think my parents loved me less because they did not express their love verbally or lack the physical closeness? Absolutely not. The only regret I now have is not telling my Dad often how much I love and respect him and that I am blessed to be his daughter. But of course, he already knew all that because he is my Dad and he always loves me beyond the earth and sky.

USELESS INFORMATION

Perhaps I should change the title of this entry to Interesting Information. However, I would probably be the only one who thinks the information is interesting while others consider what I am about to share in this entry is useless.

Round 2 of the Stanley Cup started last week. Instead of making any predictions (I usually jinx the teams by cheering for them), so I will write about a few interesting facts about hockey players, complete with their jersey number and how many stitches on their face (just kidding).

At 45 years old Chris Chelios (#24) of the Detroit Red Wings is the oldest defenseman to play in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The oldest player ever compete in this physical sport was Gordie Howe "Mr. Hockey" who was still playing at 52 years old. The youngest player in this playoffs is Jordan Staal (#11) of Pittsburgh Penguins. With all the media coverage, I thought the most youthful player was Sidney Crosby. This week, Staal was named one of the three finalists of the Calder Memorial Trophy for outstanding rookie.

There are two set of twin brothers, Henrik Lundqvist (#30) the goalie of the New York Rangers and his brother, Joel (#39) playing center for the Dallas Stars. The other twin are Daniel (#22) the left wing and Henrik (#33) Sedin, playing center for the Vancouver Canucks. The Niedermayer brothers (not twin), Rob (#44) center and Scott (#27) defenseman, got their wishes to play on the same team for Anaheim Mighty Ducks after the New Jersey Devils defeated the Ducks in Game 7 of the 2005 Stanley Cup. Hot off the press - the Mighty Ducks won game 5 and eliminated the Canucks last night.

A few last names that sound like good characters for a children book, Cheechoo, Ruutu and Tootoo. Jonathan Cheechoo (#14) a right winger for the San Jose Sharks, Jarkko Ruutu (#37) left wing for Pittsburgh Penguins and Jordin Tootoo (#22) right wing of the Nashville Predators.

How about Miroslav Satan (#81) right winger of the New York Islanders (was with the Buffalo Sabres). Satan is a native of Topolcany, Czechoslovakia. Satan is pronounced as "Sar ten", not "Sat'n". With a name like this, you would think Satan should play for the New Jersey Devils!

The majority of the players are from Canada, Russia, Sweden, Czechoslovakia and Eastern European countries. There is only one player from Seoul, South Korean, Richard Park (#10) a right winger with the New York Islanders. Paul Kariya (#9) left winger of the Nashville Predators is Asian-Canadian.

You probably want to know who my favorite players are. Of course, Steve Yzerman is #1 on my list, following by more Red Wings players - Chris Osgood (#30) goalie, Da New Captain Nickolas Lidstrom (#5) defenseman, Henrik Zettenberg (#40) left wing and #13 Pavel Datsyuk, center. Datsyuk was named one of the three finalists for the Lady Bying Memorial Trophy, an award given to players who displayed sportsmanship and gentlemanly conducts.

If I have one wish, I would like to see the Red Wings re-sign Slava Kozlov (#13) back from Atlanta Thrashers. Another wish would be a job as an announcer with the Canadian Broadcasting, that would be a dream come true, watching hockey, talking about the games and getting paid for doing what I love.

RECYCLING IN ST. LOUIS

My brother came back from a two-week trip to Hong Kong and China. I was so thankful for the technology that allows us to somewhat keep in touch by a few brief email messages and short entries in VL's blog. I was happy to read the email that my brother arrived safely, half way around the world, in China and followed his vacation from cyberspace. I am very proud to introduce to my adoring fans my brother's blog, http://qaptainqwerty.blogspot.com. There are many interesting stories about VL's recent trip and of course, other entries about the World Greatest Qaptain Qwerty.

The entry VL posted about recycling in China showing a photo of public trash receptacle with separate containers for recyclables and non-recyclables was written the same week Earth Day was celebrated at Forest Park in St. Louis. It takes a person with environmental mind like my brother to notice plastic containers for the purpose of collecting used batteries.

I am not a committed conservationist. I do try to recycle paper at the office and at home, plastic bottles, newspapers, and other acceptable items listed on the side of the containers. At work, we usually provide soda, water bottles and snacks at committee meetings. I put a sign, in large bold print, with arrows pointing, right above the bins, "For soda cans and water bottles". Somehow no one read the sign nor saw the bin because the soda cans and water bottles were thrown into the trash can next to the bin. I also gave up on recycle bins for the papers because trash was also thrown into the bins.

The organizer reported that 2007 Earth Day celebration was twice as big as last year and perhaps the largest gathering ever, thanks in part to the beautiful sunny day. The hybrid cars drew a lot of attention. Participants took part in various events such as tai chi, children making toys from earth friendly materials, getting ideas on recycling and St. Louis Zoo offered lectures encouraging people to be more aware of wildlife in their own backyard.

Lately I began using washable napkins instead of paper napkins at meal times. It saves money and not adding to the landfill. I finally found a solution for collecting cans at work, I placed a different trash can and a sign on the lid in large bold print "Soda Cans and Bottles Only". I usually read articles for ideas on recycling and earth friendly items. However, let me make it clear that I will not give up on the double-ply toilet tissues. I paid my dues in the seven months living in the refugee camp. I refuse to go back to the "primitive" way when it comes to this necessity.

PRAYERS FOR HEALING

I have not been able to update my blog since last Monday. The new entry I plan to write became so trivia after the terrible event took place at Virginia Tech. I could not imagine the pains the families of the 32 individuals whose lives were ended so suddenly. I could only imagine the wounds so deep in their hearts, a million times over compared to the passing of my Dad. It is not my intention to make light of the passing of my Dad or anyone who suffered long term illnesses. It is especially so tragic when parents buried their children, most painfully the way their promising future were taken away in this manner.

There was no shortage of experts or people who parade on talk shows with their analysis of "should have, could have, should be, would be". I don't have anything to add to the discussion. Personally, I have thought what if I was the parent of the gunman, could I prevent the killing? Would I be able to see that he would become a killer? How would I as a mother overcome the pains and regrets that I gave life to a child with a devil heart?

There is a Vietnamese saying, "Cha me sinh con, khong the sinh long". As father and mother, you could only give life (birth) to the child but you could not know what the child will grow up to be (what will be in the child's heart).

I am not the only viewer who shut off the television when the media kept showing notes and video (sent to the network prior to the shooting) of the gunman final words. I became sicken when people began to exploit this terrible incident for their own gains as if what they say or do will in anyway lessen the pains inflicted on the families.

As an individual, I could only offer my prayers of healing to all the families and to our nation. The idea came to me after watching a special feature on the network, listing all 32 people who were killed, their names and who they were - a father, a mother, a son and a daughter. I began to repeat their names, imagine that they were my neighbors, my friends, my child, and not just a list of names in the mechanical television report.

Before church service, I quietly read the name of each person, praying for the repose of their souls, lifting their families up to God for healing, God's hand over the wounds in their hearts. To the families, including the family of the gunman, I offer my prayers of healing.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MOM & DAD

April 15, 2007 would have been my parents' 49th Wedding Anniversary. Mom told me one time that it was easy to remember their anniversary since living in America no one could forget that April 15th was also the deadline for filing income tax returns. Of course, when my parents got married, the date was chosen by an expert who consulted his astrological charts, checking compatibility of the birth dates of the groom and bride to-be to ensure a long lasting happy marriage. Families dead ancestors were also consulted through prayers and living relatives in high authority positions were also paid respect to and for their approval.

Like many marriages during that time, my parents' marriage was arranged by someone who was respected and knew both parents from business circle. The marriage was arranged but not forced. My maternal grandparents were business owners and respected in the village. There were many matchmakers already inquiried about their youngest and only daughter. My Mom was an attractive young lady combined with her parents' wealth explained the long list of many suitors.

After the initial contact by a business acquaintance who was also a well-known matchmaker, my paternal grandfather (A Cung) made a visit from Cau Ngang (my Dad's birthplace) to my maternal grandfather (Che Cung) in Cau Tau Ha (Mom's birthplace). A month or so, another meeting was arranged, this time my Dad came along. The first time Mom saw Dad was when she was asked to serve tea to A Cung, Dad and other guests as an informal face to face introduction. Mom said that she was so nervous that when she put the teapot down in front of Dad, she almost slammed the teapot on the table.

Later, Mom's parents (Che Cung & Che Pho) asked Mom whether she liked Dad and whether she would agree to marry him. Mom knew she was not forced and could refuse the arrangement. Fortunately for Dad, Mom responded that it was up to her parents. Che Cung mentioned that he had consulted others about Dad's family, his characters and based on Dad's facial features, he thought Dad would be a loving husband and a good father. Che Cung said that he did not pay attention to the fact that Dad's family wealth was not of the same level. His only concern was finding a husband who would be faithful and loving to his only daughter.

After the engagement was announced, Dad would visit Mom every other month during his business trips. They would go for a walk or to the park, not alone but with two elderly ladies following and keeping watch. There was no such thing as "roadside kissing" or drive-in movie, Talk about the big difference compared to what takes place in today's society regarding relationships and marriages. Mom still remembered the poems Dad wrote to her and the long letters she sent back each week.

The wedding was a three-day celebration with lot of relatives, and guests from both families attended. In the traditional setting, the groom's family took care of all the expense for the wedding and presented gifts to the bride's family. Normally the bride would live with the in-laws after the wedding. I have to ask Mom the reason why Dad live with her parents' family instead. There were many people who came to the wedding with gifts of expensive items and money to show respect and to express their gratitute for the help Che Cung had assisted them over the years.

An idea just came to me that I should write an entry comparing my wedding in America to my parents', where as mine had all the typical fanfares such as bridal shower, my husband' bachelor party, the sharing of expense of the wedding, and the traditional church service.

My favorite story was that as part of the wedding celebration, Che Cung gave a large sum of money to build a school in the village. The principal wanted to name the school after Che Cung and he refused. Talk about being a true humanitarian and modesty.

Three years later I came along. Then CH, TL and finally VL. Thanks, Che Cung for your choice of selecting the loving and faithful husband for Mom and a great father for us. From the humble home in Viet Nam, to the journey seeking freedom in the open sea, to the little hut in the refugee camp, to the new land in America, each step we took towards a good life, Dad was there with us, providing and caring the best way he could. Happy Anniversary, Mom & Dad. Thank you, Dad, for all you did for us.

CULTURE SHOCK

By coincidence that I saw a book entitled, Culture Shock! A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette by Esther Wanning. The author explained that the book provides necessary information to help anyone who experiences cultural shock with hints and tips to make their lives as normal as possible. Cultural shock is defined as "a state of disorientation" that overcomes a person who has been thrust into unknown surroundings when they move to a new country.

I thought how nice it would have been if I was given this book when I first arrived in New York. I would settled in with the greatest of ease, knowing all about dos and don'ts and understood the behaviors of the people around me. But wait, how could I make use of the book since I did not know the English language? As if reading my mind, the author wrote on page 188, "You (the reader) presumably speak English well or you wouldn't be reading this book." Too bad if you don't speak English well, or not at all, trying to survive in the new country, especially in New York City, good luck (my post script)!

I learned quickly different ways people say hello or extend greetings, "What's up?", "How you've been?", "What's news?", "What's going on?" etc., all have the same meaning as the question "How are you?". Also, when someone said, "How are you?", they did not really want to know how I was and the appropriate polite, yet short response should be, "I am fine. Thank you."

More than twenty years later, I am still not comfortable addressing someone who is considerably older or in high position, by first name. My professors at Saint Louis University could not understand why I was the only graduate student who addressed them as "Dr. Anderson" or "Professor Scott". Call me old fashion, I am dismayed and could not accept young people, particularly children, calling adults by their first names. (RJS (February 19, 2007 entry) would confirm that to this day I would not address him by his first name.)

From the co-workers of my early days in America, I learned about "the long weekend" or the three-day weekends, when we all got a day off either on Friday or the Monday on major federal holidays such as Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I noticed how people would stand around telling each other about the trips they took or how they enjoyed the days off and did not start to get any work done until almost noon.

I learned to say "Thank You" when someone complimented how nice I look or about my pretty new shirt/shoes. And when someone said "Thank You", I should say "You're Welcome" and not "It was nothing" or "I did not do anything". It took me a long time to join in the celebration when a co-worker celebrated her birthday. I could not understand why the person had to announce to the entire office or making sure that everyone knew and wished her happy birthday.

One of the funny thing I still remember to this day was my misunderstanding of an expression that was truly American. The first time a person said to me "Would you go to bat for me?" when he requested an order to be shipped the next day, I thought he said, "Would you go to bed with me?" I was so shocked. I handed the phone over to a co-worker. Later, I told MC, a trusted friend, after MC explained to me what the expression was, we had a good laugh for a few days.

More about my culture shock in future entries, for now, I am proud to say I have survived and have come a long way since my early days in America.

NHL PLAYOFFS - ROUND 1

I have been checking the Detroit Red Wings website for their playoffs schedule. As of this afternoon, it only listed Calgary Flames as the opponent for Round 1 of the 2007 Stanley Cup playoffs. The exact dates for the games are not yet determined. Most likely the Red Wings will have home ice advantage as the best team in Western Conference. Since last week, I have been actually cheering for Buffalo Sabres to win all the regular season games so that they will receive the President's Trophy for being the team with the most win in the League. The last few years the Red Wings suffered the curse of the Trophy as it was eliminated and did not make it pass Round 1.

The title of this entry could also be "Why I love hockey?". I love hockey because I admire the skills of the players, the physical demand, the coordination (eyes-hands-feet) while speeding around the ice, knowing exactly where your teammates are and the accuracy of the puck being passed at the right angle, the rebounds and the savings. My favorite players are the goalies because they are in a very special position and they don't get the credit they deserved. When the team won, the players who scored the goals got all the credits. When the team lost, the fans blamed the goalie for allowing the pucks to get by. The goalies are special because they are crazy to try stopping the pucks flying at the speed that could crack not just human bones but could shatter a brick wall. Ok, I exagerated, but you must be a real hockey fan to appreciate my passion for the game.

I remember a childhood friend of my father came to New York for a visit in 1988. He was sponsored by his children and lived in Canada for a few years. Somehow he became a fanatic to the sport that he spent half of the time watching hockey instead of sighseeing. Come to think of it, it probablly was the Stanley Cup playoffs. My Dad could not understand what happened to his friend who had the same passion for soccer when they were kids, had turned into a fanatic for a different kind of sport.

Last weekend when we discussed our vacation for this year, I mentioned to my husband that before I turn 70 years old, I want to see all the home games of all 30 NHL teams. So far I have only been to Joe Louis Arena (Detroit Red Wings), Scotttrade (St. Louis Blues) and recently saw the Nashville Predators. My vacation plan for this year will include my first trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto, Canada. I also hope to include a Maple Leafs game when we are there.

I would love to be in the audience when Steve Yzerman, Da Captain of the Detroit Red Wings, be inducted into the Hall of Fame. In my office, above my computer, in a prominent spot, is a photo of Yzerman, his eyes focused, the intensity, the determination, I could see Yzerman flying on the ice, passing the pucks back and forth, setting up the play, and at the right moment, made accurate decision to go top shelf, out of reach of the goalie's glove or to go low and scored through the fifth hole.

I would like to start with attending home games of the original six - Boston Bruins, Chicago Blackhaws, Detroit Red Wings (done), Montreal Canadiens, New York Rangers and Toronto Maple Leafs. Next will be the other Canadian teams - Calgary Flames, Edmonton Oilers, Ottawa Senators, and Vancouver Canucks. Midwest, Southwest and East coast teams are next on the list. Because of the distance and the expense, I will leave the West coast teams last on the list.

Why I love hockey? Because hockey is similar to living - the game is fast, it requires focus, mental and physical strength, no allowance for distraction, eyes-hands-feet must be 100% coordinated, never lose sight of the puck (objective), knowing where your teammates as well as opponents are, making split-second decision without the luxury of correction, knowing when to capitalize on others' mistakes and knowing when to shoot and making calculation of where the puck would have the most chance to pass the goalie.

The Red Wings finally listed their Round 1 playoffs schedule. I plan to schedule my activities around all the games broadcasted on American networks. Unfortunately, I have work commitment on Wednesday (Canucks vs. Stars - Game 1), church group meeting on Thursday ( Red Wings vs. Flames - Game 1) and Cardinals baseball game on Sunday (Red Wings - Game 2). I could record the games and do my best to avoid all human contacts, not listen to radio, not watching television nor reading newspaper until after I watched the recorded games. Or I could move to Canada. NHL Playoffs - it is the most exciting time in the sport world. Let's the games begin - Go Wings!

APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY FLOWERS

In keeping with the theme, I thought the saying, April showers bring May flowers, would be appropriate for the first entry of this month. (The entry for last month was March Madness, March 14th).

I also thought the meaning of this expression was fitting since April has a few important dates in my life. April 30, 1975 was the day when the Northern Vietnamese communist took over South Viet Nam. Four years later, April 1979, my family began our final preparation to escape the country by boat. I realized that there were many events in my life when something good (May flowers) happened (or may happen) as a result of unpleasant event (April showers). There are other sayings that have similar meanings, Every Cloud has a Silver Lining or Everything happened for a reason. Life is a picnic. You have to take the sunshine with the rains, the butterfly with the bees and the gentle breeze with the occassional wind blowing away the umbrella. (I am in the mood of Socrates wannabe).

My life in Viet Nam would be completely different, at the most uneventful, if the communist never took over and I never left the country. Actually a matchmaker already contacted my parents to set up a possible marriage arrangement. That family was in the same Chinese medicine/herbal business and I would be suitable for the oldest son which guaranteed that I would be well taken care of since the oldest son normally inherited the family business. While my family suffered in the four years living under communist control, endured the horrid boat journey, the seven months in the refugee camp, the struggle in the new land (April showers), we are grateful that we are living in America and receiving so many blessings (May flowers). If it was not for these events, we would not enjoy the freedom and living a good life in America compared to living in Viet Nam.

When I married my husband, I gave up the dream of working as a diplomat at United Nations. I always felt guilty for moving far away from my family. Yet moving to Grand Haven, Michigan expanded my horizon beyond New York City, driving in the extreme winter condition replaced riding the routine subway and experiencing life in the small town at much slower pace. Moving to St. Louis added another dimention in my American experience. The pace is just right, not too hectic and the cost of living not too high as in New York, yet the town is big enough so that it is not suffocating and plenty of opportunities to grow.

When we first came to New York, Uncle Ping informed my Dad that he would help secure an apartment in Chinatown for our family. He thought that would help eliminate the language barriers. We would be among Chinese speaking people and not worry about learning English. His wife then would help my Mom and me getting work in a sewing factory, of course also in Chinatown. The plans included finding a suitable husband for me, (again with the arrangement of marriage!), a man who was a cook to ensure that I would not be hungry! My Dad thanked Uncle for his assistance and thoughtfulness. Dad explained that he believed we should all learn to speak English, get college education, assimilate in the American culture, yet maintain our Chinese traditions at home.

Last year when the terrible storm left our area without power for a few days, the Association's major golf tournament almost got cancelled when the golf course did not have electricity until half an hour before the scheduled shotgun. Half of the carts were not fully charged and the rains continued to create problems on the course. One of the members commented to me, "Is this the worst day of your life?". I responded, "Compared to being on a crowded boat with water up to my knees, in the middle of the ocean, being chased after by the pirates, being threaten at gunpoint and not knowing where we were going, this is a picnic."

Yes, life is picnic. The next time I take things for granted, I will remind myself to count my blessings and stop whinning about a minor inconvenience. "An occassion of April showers will bring lovely May flowers."

ALL ABOARD!

I hit the buzzer when the small alarm clock on the end table next to my bed went off. I knew I had to get up and get ready for work. Normally I would wait until the big alarm clock on the dresser located the other side of the bedroom to go off. That would be another half an hour of sleep. Placing the alarm clock on the dresser was my husband's idea because it forces us to get up to shut off the buzzer.

My workplace is very small, only five employees including me. Starting today, the receptionist, TC is taking her week-long vacation with her family visiting relatives in England. I have to help answering the phones whenever TC is out. I dislike this task and have unsuccessfully convinced my boss to upgrade to automated phone system. He prefers a receptionist or a real person to the impersonal system with the main menu and a list of employees' extensions. The reason I dislike having to answer the phone because I find that most of callers are lack of telephone etiquette. Most of the time I have to ask "May I ask whom I am speaking to?" because the callers failed to properly identify themselves. Some people are rightdown rude as if it was my fault that whoever they called did not return their calls or became upset at me when I told them that the boss was on the other line. Of course, I still have to take care of my regular workload.

Also this week, my brother, VL and his son JL together with his wife and her family are leaving today for a two-week vacation to China. This is the second trip for VL and the first oversea trip to a non-Western country for JL. My sister-in-law is of Chinese national and the trip is more like a family reunion visiting relatives in her home village. VL commented that he did not look forward to the long flight (approximately 16+ hours) from New York to Hong Kong and the long rides by bus into China and to get to the remote village. I feel bad that VL won't have any time for activities that would be interesting to him. The trip is more like an obligation than a vacation.

My husband and I have talked about a trip to Viet Nam, my birthplace and to China to see the Great Wall and the Emperor's Tomb where an army of life-size terra-cotta clay figures were constructed. I am glad that my parents were able to visit Viet Nam in 1998 before my Dad passed away in 2001. My Mom has talked about going back before she becomes too old and too weak for the long flight. Lately, I have thought a lot about how emotional it would be when I finally go back to Viet Nam, my first trip since we left the country in 1979. I was a teenager when I left and would be going back as a middle-age woman.

This weekend my husband and I will be going to see the Nashville Predators taking on the Dallas Stars. We will be staying at a hotel across from the arena and downtown Nashville. We visited Nashville in 1991 when my husband had a job interview with a company in Bowling Green, Kentucky. He did not take the job. After we moved to St. Louis, we spent a weekend in Nashville in 1996 and saw the first performance of Brad Paisley at the Grand Ole Opry who currently is one of the well-known stars in country music.

With my brother in China, my co-worker in England and I am taking a weekend trip, I thought of a saying my father used to say, "Cai nha co chan, no cung di" - If the house grew feet, it would be taking off to some place. The world is big and there are many interesting places to visit - all aboard!