A PAIN IN THE NECK

Have you ever tried to watch a hockey game with a stiff neck? On Thursday, January 29th, I woke up feeling a bit tender in the area behind my left ear. By the afternoon my neck started to hurt when I turned my head. It was not painful, just annoying as I had to remember to turn slowly and with the whole body, not just my little head. My husband said that I probably pulled a muscle or needed a new pillow. The next day, Friday, I was really a "stiff-necked" :)

Well, no little pain in the neck was going to keep me from going to the Blues v. Flyers game on Saturday, January 31st. The Blues played really well and won a shutout 4-0 over the Flyers. There were fights in all three periods. At one point there were seven players from both teams combined got penalties for hooking, slashing, interference, boarding, so crowded that there were not enough seats in the penalty box. Watching any sport events with a stiff neck is difficult, talk about a fast game like hockey required special skills. I lived up to my reputation as a hockey junkie, holding my neck with my left hand, coordinated head and body and synchronized my movements as the players skated up and down, from side to side, passing the puck. I was able to follow the speed of the game and knew exactly where the puck was from one end of the ice to the other.

Superbowl XLIII was on Sunday, February 1st. On Saturday, January 24th, I went to a Kentucky Fried Chicken on Main Street to get the hot wings for lunch. While waiting for the order, I saw the above machine with all 32 NFL toy helmets. It costs 50 cents for each toy. I put two quarters in the slot, turned the knob (thinking in my little head whichever team/helmet comes out will win the Superbowl), a helmet fell down, I picked it up and it was the Steelers (photo below)! I quietly put the helmet in my pocket and did not tell anyone, not even my husband. After the Steelers won the game, I told CP about the machine, showed him the toy helmet and we both thought I should have placed some bets. We also thought it would have been a good but cruel joke if I got a toy helmet of the Detroit Lions for the same question/prediction of which team would win the Superbowl Championship!

ONE WOMAN MANY SORROWS

Yesterday my neighbor "Cei" asked me if I would collect his mail for a few days as he had to make an unexpected trip to Ohio. His wife was on a business trip in Scottsdale, Arizona. Cei just got a phone call that his sister "Pei" who has suffered from depression the last few weeks was admitted into the hospital as her condition has gotten worse. I wish Cei a safe trip and that I would keep him, his sister and the entire family in my prayers. I selected these photos to go along with this post because the story of Pei and her sorrows is like the dark sky with one storm after another.

Pei and her 2nd husband, Bei, used to live a few houses from us when we first moved into the subdivision almost 15 years ago. Pei had two children, Nei and Gei from her 1st marriage. Pei told me that her first husband was a drinking person who could not hold down a steady job. Pei survived the divorce and was able to take care of 6-year old Nei and 5-year old Gei as a single mother. Things were fine for a few years with Bei and the children seemed to adjust well. Then Bei decided that he did not want to be married anymore and filed for divorce. By then Nei and Gei already were teenagers with problems beyond the normal growing pains.

Gei got pregnant at 16, got married at 18, then had her 2nd daughter at 20. Gei filed for divorce when her husband Rei was sent to jail for auto thef and drug possessions. Gei and her children moved in with Pei because she could not afford rent on a waitress income. Without even a high school education, Gei could only seek minimum wage jobs. Gei and Rei reconciled after Rei was released from prison. By then Gei somehow became a drug addict and a year later gave birth to a third child, a son.

Nei, also without a college education and just like his father, was unable to hold a steady job. He often spoke about the lastest business adventure that would make him instant millionaire. Nei continued to live at home after Pei got married for the 3rd time to Jei whom she met at a social network for divorced people. Jei brought his debt and a back injury into the marriage. (I never asked whether Pei knew about these issues prior to the wedding.) Pei supported Jei without asking what he did with his monthly disability checks. They moved to Ohio five years ago because Jei wanted to be near his family. Her brother, Cei then purchased the house from Pei.

Last year, Jei filed for divorce claiming that Pei children had became a strain on the marriage. Jei cited one of the reasons was that Nei by then a 30-year old man to either help out with the rent, clean up his own room, wash his clothes or move out but Pei refused and continued to pamper Nei as if he was a child. In the meantime, Gei had her 4th child, another daughter. (The only good thing is that all 4 kids came from the same father.)

A few months ago, a girlfriend accused Nei of rape. She later recant the story but Nei was not able to clear the charges against him. At the same time, Rei got sent back to jail for more legal trouble while Gei continues to strugle with her addiction and raising 4 kids without a job. Gei had asked to again move in with Pei.

As I watched my neighbor driving away, I felt so sorry for him and his family. I would not have believed that one woman could have so much sorrows, three failed marriages, a son in legal trouble, a daughter and 4 grandkids with a husband who has criminal and prison records. I feel sorry for my neighbor that the burden would be on his shoulders. Lei, wife of Cei, already told me of the hours long phone calls from Pei and other emergency trips to Ohio Cei had to make the last few months. According to the doctor, Pei would need to be in a caring facility as she is now unable to live by herself due to her depression that might lead to suicide. It is amazing how one person's tribulations would afflict so many others.

During my training to be hospice volunteer and also with Stephen Ministry, we learned to offer compassion, caring heart and attentive ears (listening) but we must be careful not to "get down in the mud" with the person. Once we got in the mud, we will not be able to offer caring since we are no longer objective. I just hope it does not take toll on Cei and Lei own marriage. What can we as individuals do to help those like Pei and her children? How much resources should be allocated into social programs to assist people like Rei without taking away from others that would be more deserving?

All the names of people involved and locations have been changed, only the story is real.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK

Photo taken outside NBC Store in New York City. The sign reads "Please do not sit here". Comments, anyone?

CAPE COD MEMORIES

I began reading Cape Cod Memories when the blog was named Blog of Note in November 2008. CCM wrote in About Me - "A "city mouse" from a busy Boston suburb who is enjoying being a "country mouse" on Cape Cod."

CCM shares photos of Cape Cod (of course) and captions such as "In the depth of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer" by Albert Camus or a Japanese Proverb "One kind word can warm three winter months and other clever and funny comments.

When I finally got around to send a comment to CCM that I enjoyed reading her blog, she had turned off the comments. CCM wrote the reason she turned off the comments because "Most unfortunately, the quality of negative feedback far outweighted the quantity of positive feedback we received." My first reaction was, who and why would someone write negative comments? If you don't agree or don't care about a particular blog, then don't visit it. If you feel strongly about something, then send comments but be civilized and constructive. Or it could be that CCM got too many comments that were blatantly marketing ploys or junk at its worst. I just got one today, comment that was almost three pages long of nonsense rambling!

When I did not see any new posts from CCM since January 14th, I was a bit concern. I wanted to write a comment to CCM and hope that she is well and just too busy to update her blog. Of course, I could not because the comments were turned off. I was glad to see new posts from CCM last week.

My husband and I were much poorer when we got married. His brother had a timeshare condo and asked us where we would like to go for our honeymoon. I don't remember selecting Cape Cod, so it could be my husband who made that decision. Twenty years later I only remembered the lighthouse and the beautiful beaches in Cape Cod, then on to Martha's Vineyard with all the charming cottages, colorful Victorian homes with decorated fences and inviting gardens. It rained that afternoon so we probably did not walk around for long. We also went to Boston for a day with a stop at Cheers. After Cape Cod, we drove to New York for our 2nd luncheon reception hosted by my parents. The guests were mostly friends of my parents, my godparents MC and JC, my friend MW and her husband KL. My parents wanted to show off the son-in-law and to prove that I actually got married, not just ran off with a sailor from Pier 17!

ANYBODY HOME?

St. Louis Zoo, 2008

STILL WAITING FOR THE WINNING LOTTERY TICKET

Asians in general believe and carry on many traditions that mostly are considered supertitious. I am not against traditions that are of myths and fantasy which could be charming and entertaining. One of the beliefs I learned from my grandmother that peacocks are associated with good fortune. If a peacock came to your house, fortune would follow. Those who witnessed a peacock showing off his plumage, would expect fortune or something good coming. Last summer during a visit to the zoo, I took these photos of Mr. Peacock flaring out his colorful feathers, putting on a show to attract a nearby peahen. As of today, I am still waiting for good fortune or that winning lottery ticket. I wasted money on the weeky lottery but so far no jackpot.

After an unsuccessful attempt to get the lovely peahen to mate, Mr. Peacock walked away with his train of beautiful tail feathers but not attractive enough to get himself some luck!

BACKYARD BIRD NEST

We had two days of snow and freezing cold winter weather this past week. I took a vacation day on Tuesday as there was nothing so important that I had to risk going to work when the snow mixed with sleet made driving a bit unsafe. It was a long day on Wednesday from the time I got into the office at 7:15 a.m., then on to a training seminar at 9:30 a.m., back to the office at 12:15 p.m., attended a Board of Directors meeting from 6:00 p.m. that lasted until 10:30 p.m. and finally got home and into bed at 11:15 p.m.
The weekend was so much more exciting with a hockey game on Saturday when the Philadelphia Flyers visited St. Louis Blues and the Superbowl on Sunday. I already had a bet with the boys in the office which team would win and the final scores. As in the past, my predictions had not been accurate. Instead of talking about the Superbowl, (as both teams had kindly asked me not to jinx them) I decided to post these photos of the bird nest in my backyard. I often wonder what makes a bird decided to build a nest on such small tree (top photo). It was a pleasant surprise when I saw the nest exposed on the bare tree. I took photos of the snow covered nest to reflect the seasons.

IF I WAS A SEA LION

If I was a sea lion, I would not have pay someone to teach me how to swim. The instructor was very kind and encouraging even though my feet and arms coordination was terrible. I explained to her my fear of not able to feel the bottom of the pool. I could swim only if the water is not over my head when I have to stand up when I need a break. If only I would relax and don't think too much about when to turn my head side to side. I thought how similar with living my life and my weekly swimming lessons. I know the instructor is nearby, there are lifeguards around, the lane that I am in is only 4 '6" deep. All I have to do is stand up and the water is only up to my chest. Yet, my body is so tense with fear of drowning. How many times in life we are afraid of the unknown, afraid to take action, to apply for another job, to go back to school, to speak up, all because we don't think it is safe or something bad will happen?
This week, when the instructor asked if I wish to move over the next lane, I responded yes confidently. Half way down the lane, I looked up and saw "6 ft" on the side of pool, suddently my whole body just paralyzed and turned into a big rock. The fear of drowning took over, I started flapping my arms and feet like a frighten turtle, except I did not have a shell to hide. The instructor put out her hand, calm me down and I was able to finish my lesson with drinking a minimum amount of water.
Just like the time when I was floating fine until I saw the instructor on the side of the pool, I realized she no longer holding me, I immediately sunk to the bottom!
I just hope next week lesson will be better or I will be the worst student among six years old swimming class.
These photos were taken last summer at St. Louis Zoo.

CHUC MUNG NAM MOI

Today is January 1, 4706 in the Lunar calendar. It is the Year of the Ox. It is my Year according to the Chinese astrology based on a cycle of 12 years (Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog and Pig) and the five elements - metal, water, wood, fire and earth. I am a metal Ox in the Chinese horoscopes. It got a little complicating since I was born on December 12th of the Ox year, so technically I am considered a water Tiger with a metal Ox tail. No wonder I have always suffered from identity crisis!

To all my adoring fans and faithful followers, Chuc Mung Nam Moi (Happy New Year in Vietnamese) and Gung Hay Phat Choy (Chinese), may you and your family enjoy many years of good health, prosperity and happiness.

Lion dance or dragon dance is one of the highlights of the New Year celebration. The dance is a ritual to whisk demons away and to bring prosperity to businesses and homes. Performers received money in red envelopes as an appreciation for their services.

Hey Qaptain Qwerty, look what I found. What a coincidence that I found this issue celebrating the New Year in 1994, the Year of the Dog, from the magazine named Tuoi Tre published by Vietnamese-American Youth Organization. Did you draw the front cover? Hope it brings back good memories seeing the magazine and the description of what the organization tried to provide to the community.

JANUARY PROGRESS REPORT

Here is an update on my quest to be clutter-free and not allowing useless stuff taking over our living space. This year, as it has been our tradition that the Sunday after Thanksgiving would be when we put up our Christmas tree and decorated the house, we sorted the ornaments into three groups, must-keep, maybe and to Good Will. The must-keep ornaments were those with our names, years and places we were on vacation. Of course, we also keep the Red Wings, Patriots and others that had family and personal attachment. The maybe ornaments were somewhat meaningful but not too sentimentals. We might consider donating these "maybe" next year. We took two banker boxes to Good Will and the lady there told me that they would put pricing on the items and on the shelves right away.
To keep myself from eating munchies all day, I decided to go thru the closets, gathered two large bags of clothing and dropped the items off a local Thrift Shop that supports group homes for mental & physical challenged adults. We also donated two boxes of things. I took the photos below to show the things we kept and it felt good to donate them, kind of letting go of the past and moving on to the clutter-free future. When my husband moved to Grand Haven from Detroit, he lived in an apartment and thought the porcelain dog and puppy would make him feel at home and less lonely being away from his family for the first time. That was in 1982, and CP said it was time to give the dogs away to someone else.
My sister CH and I used to go Pier 17, a multilevel dockside shopping mall at South Street Seaport, to hang out with sailors when the ships came into town during July 4th weekend and summer months. From Pier 17 you could have the view as far north as midtown Manhattan and as far south as the Verazzano-Narrows Bridge. There were also concerts, street performers and plenty of people-watching activities. We would wear light jean jackets with these silly looking pins (photo above). CH loved the sailors, their white uniform, and cool looking hats. We did not get drunk and had one-night stand or anything that would be shameful to our family, we just talked to the sailors, maybe flirt a little and when they got a little over-friendly, we got away by telling them we needed to use the wash room. The pins were popular back then in the late 80's. I put these pins in a box with other earrings and jewelries that no longer age appropriate for me to wear, and to Good Will they went. This handmade doll (photo below) was purchased at a craft show a few years ago. She looked cute in the rocker in the living room. Then we moved her to the guess room, sitting on the dresser. Maybe a child would spend more time playing with her instead of just being a decorated item in our house.

THE LOOPY EWE

What in the world is The Loopy Ewe? How about an "educated" or a "lucky" guess? Sorry, there is no special prize or award for the correct answer. Please send your comments anyway, just for fun.

COOKING WITH TOTA

I did it, I cooked dinner last night. I could hear the laughters coming from Qaptain Qwerty all the way from Bensonhurst, Brooklyn. In case you did not already know from reading my blog that I do not cook. I don't have any recipes, Vietnamese nor Chinese dishes. I enjoy eating the good food my Mom prepares but was never interested in cooking. My Mom said to me one time that without cooking skills, no one would marry me if we were in Viet Nam. I responded, "That was why we came to America."
Where we live, there are many restaurants along Main street, most of them are fast food. I would call to place an order, then either CP or I would pick up dinner on our way home from work. There is a favorite Mexican family restaurant where we usually ordered bistek zacatecano (strips of steak covered with tomatillo sauce served with tortillas) and combination plate with tamale, flauta, burrito and enchilada. We also order walleye sandwiches or BBQ ribs from other restaurants or pizza delivery.
We are trying to cut down on the expenditure of take out dinners, but I am so sick of salad, canned soups or cereal. We already packed sandwiches for lunch. One of my goals this year is to eat healthy, definitely no more fast food. So cooking a decent dinner would be the appropriate answer. Except for the bell peppers that I had to cut up into little pieces, other ingredients were just open the bags or container and place in the skillet. I also have to cut the sausage and the kielbasa. Surprisingly the bowties pasta turned out just right. I cooked enough for next day lunch and probably two more dinners. I plan to make fried rice this weekend.
Note to Qaptain Qwerty, make sure Mom is sitting down so she won't faint in disbelief when you tell her that I cooked dinner. I am sure she would never believe from looking at these photos that I actually cooked a decent meal. She probably thinks I did it with lot of help from CP.

The broccoli and cauliflower were raw. I was too hungry to wait so I decided to cook them the next day. I love mushrooms, shredded carrots (has to be shredded), bean sprouts, any kind of bell pepper, green, yellow and red.

This rice cooker (photo below) was a gift from my brother, TL, after I got married and moved to Michigan. The joke was that it was so easy that even someone like me who was (still am) so domestically challenged could cook a decent pot of rice. My mom showed me how to wash the rice, add the right amount of water, press the button and when the rice was cooked, the button popped up, that was all there was to know. Well, I must admit there were a few times the rice was either half cooked (not enough water) or really mushy (too much water). It must be the wrong kind of rice!

THE LAMPLIGHT

The Lamplight by Loise Pinkerton Fritz, published in Salesian Inspirational Books by A Salesian Missions Publication 2002.

In this world of haste and hurry
Where there seems no time for Thee.
Lord, look upon Thy people
And draw all close, I plead.
We're prone to wander aimlessly
When there is none to guide,
But when we know our Savior, Christ,
There's purpose in our lives.
In this world where doubt and worry
Seem to have the upper hand,
Lord, look upon the masses
In Thy created lands.
Midst suffering and heartache,
Oh, be the Lamplight still,
That hearts might be inspired, Lord,
To do Thy holy will.
(Photos taken at Holy Family Church at the United Nations, New York City, Christmas 2007)

MY FEET GOT WET

I had my first half-hour swimming lesson today. It was a lot of fun and the instructor was a very nice mid-30 young lady. I told her the last time I got in a pool was 20 years ago. We went thru the basic steps, pushing thru the water, feet flapping, keeping head above water, and floating on my back. I was able to swim the entire length of the pool, of course with the instructor nearby. I did not take any photos of the community pool. These photos were from the Alaska cruise on Princess Cruise Line. I look forward to my next swimming lesson.

IT'S ALL GONE TO THE BIRDS!

The phone rang, it was Kurt Warner (quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals). Kurt said, "Mrs. P, please cheer for the Philadelphia Eagles. We heard about the other teams that suffered defeats because you jinxed them with your cheering." It hurts to be known as a jinx in the sports world! Of course, my predictions stink too since I make a friendly wager with the boys at work that the Titans and the Giants will be in the Superbowl. So much for my sports analysis.

Last weekend, I picked the Tennessee Titans and they lost to Baltimore Ravens 10-13. I wanted the New York Giants to win (my hometown team and I like Eli Manning), Philadephia embarassed the Giants 23-11. I thought Carolina Panthers would have a better chance, I was glad Kurt Warner and the Cardinals won 33-13. Big Ben and the Steelers proved they were strong with a win 35-24 over San Diego Chargers. As the Ravens, the Cardinals, the Eagles and the Steelers advanced, the Conference Championships all gone to the birds!

I don't have anything in the house with Ravens. I only have cardinals and eagles as my husband has a pretty good collection of eagles. CP made the above cardinal at a stained glass class and the eagle below is an ornament from our trip in Alaska.

I look forward to watching the games but I will not make any predictions and at Mr. Warner's request, I will cheer (jinx) for the Eagles instead!

IT IS MY YEAR

Lucy: It's Here! It's Here!


Lucy: This is My Year! It's going to be all mine! This is My Year!


Charlie Brown: Where does that leave the rest of us?


Lucy: Nowhere!


Lucy: STAY OUT OF MY YEAR!!!


This is My Year!

This is the year that I will discard the emotional and mental baggage that have made me grumpy, sarcastic and angry at the world. This is the year that I will discard useless, meaningless earthly possessions that have cluttered my living space.


This is the year that I will say goodbye to negativity that have dragged me down. I will stop the irrational beliefs that have kept me spinning.

I will discard my own inflated ideas that others should always treat me well and that I should receive special treatments. This year I will encounter life's injustice not with acceptance of defeat but with courage to be strong and determination to create my own success.

This is the year that I will focus on making my own success by working hard, completing the tasks, being optimistic and self-aware of my abilities and limitation.


This is the year that I will not be afraid of finding meaningful work despite of the job market or the downturn in the economy. I will not stay at a job that turns dreary, just waiting for retirement or afraid that I would not be able to find another job because staying at a job that has become dreadful would be too many years of bitterness and resentment.


This is the year that I will make improvements and learn new skills.

This is the year that I will take swimming lessons to really learn how to be a good swimmer. I will schedule my boxing training often. I will make my workouts a priority.

This is the year that I will take extra weeks of vacation to visit my family in New York and really spend quality time with my Mother (to celebrate her 70th birthday and also spend the first Mother's Day with her since I moved away in 1988.)

This is the year that I hope to go back to Viet Nam, the birthplace I left when I was a teenager and now visiting it as a middle age woman. I hope to take the trip with my Sister and spend a whole month traveling from Sai Gon to Ha Noi.

I long to spend time with my nephew, just sitting in the same room, just being with him and if he let me, hug him, kiss him and tell him how much I love him.

This is the year that I will live my life to the fullest, to be aware of each breath, each moment, to appreciate each day, to enjoy the bird nests on the bare tree branches and to be alive and to be the best performer on the stage of life.

Unlike Lucy, I invite you to join me and share My Year!

TAVERN ON THE GREEN - NEW YORK CITY

"God is my witness I will never be hungry again." Scarlett O'Hara, Gone With The Wind.

Last year my husband had a cold for a few days after Christmas while we were visiting my family in New York. After he got better, we decided to take the subway from Brooklyn to Central Park to take a few photos. When we passed by the restaurant Tavern on the Green, I told my husband that I used to help serving pasta dinners to the runners before the Marathon. When we debated whether to continue looking for a place for breakfast or going into Tavern knowing how much it would cost, "We are on vacation" was what CP always said when we had to make decision to spend money on something foolish.

As I sat in the dining room with festive Christmas decoration, fanciful table cloth, the fine china, the flashy overwhelmed wall paper, the flowery carpet and the formalities each server lavishing on the guests, I thought of what Scarlett said to Bhett Butler when he told her to go ahead and spend as much money as needed to make Tara what it once was, the wealthiest and extravagantly ornated plantation. "I want all the people who's been mean to me to be pea green with envy", O'Hara said. Ms. MK who told me that I could never find another job because I did not speak any English, the person who told me "Let's see how long you will last" when I told him that I would be working full time and attending college at night and the person who saw my face and told me that the job was offered to someone else when I arrived at the scheduled interview (the day before he told me I was perfect for the job and asked how soon I could start), I want all these people to be pea green with envy that I did what they told me I could not. I did not have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. I did all the hardwork, the American ways, working and paying taxes, financing my own college education, purchasing my own home and God is my witness, I will never be hungry and that I have achieved my American Dream.

The Tavern with one of the many glittering fancy chandeliers and soaring vaulted ceilings. The restaurant is a maze of dining rooms, each decorated with different fantasy theme and the garden area which is enclosed under a beautiful canopy of lighted trees.

According to an information sheet, when originally built in 1870, the rural Victorian Gothic structure now known as Tavern on the Green was designed by Jacob Wrey Mould as a sheepfold. The first incarnation of the restaurant was launched on October 20, 1934. In 1976, the Tavern reincarnated and dazzled New Yorkers with the additional glass enclosed Crystal and Terrace Rooms, lavish use of stained glass, etched mirrors, erratic antique prints and excessive adorned chandeliers.

$105 for breakfast for two that included two tiny cups of coffee, two glasses of orange juice, a cheese omelet, a scrambled egg with ham and harsh brown, English muffins with butter and jam, no white or rye toast, was it worth it? The server told us that "traditionally" no toast being served at New Year breakfast. What tradition and who decided that it was a tradition? Were we supposed to know the tradition? Since we asked for toast, that proved that we did not belong at the Tavern. We were just two "wannabe" poor country mouse in a place where we don't belong. A meal at the Tavern is not about the food or service, it's about being there and about being seen of being there!

The sign reads, Private Dining Room, where celebrities and distinguished New Yorkers, enjoy their meals away from the masses. Photo below showed the decorative whimsy in the waiting area, right outside the Garden Bar.

PS: This January 10th marks the 29th Anniversary of my family arriving in New York City, beginning a new life and becoming Americans. God Bless America.