I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND

Last month at a business luncheon, someone commented that I have a very firm handshake. I don't care for people whose hand shakes are more like steel grips and crushing squeeze. I don't offer a limp "wet fish" hand either. I have seen women who have delicate and perfectly manicure hands (which I envy) who offer only the tips of their fingers in a very careful manner. I don't know when and how I know to have a firm hand shake.

My mother advised me to be more ladylike by walking like a lady and carry myself with feminine postures. She further added that I needed to talk softly and don't laugh too loud. When I told my husband what my mother said, C disagreed and said he loves me just the way I am, with my manly walk and unladylike laughs.

With the flu season just around the corner, I make sure that I have hand sanitizers when attending church services. After the homily and the Lord's prayers, the congregation extend hands to those around and say, "Peace be with you". If I noticed someone has a cold, I would discreetly clean my hand after our handshakes.

Last year I was on jury duty for a few days. The first morning I reported to the courthouse and was among the potential jurors gathered in a large room. There were approximately two hundred people. Every hour, the court clerk would come in with a list of names. We would be put in groups of 30. Then we moved to another floor and each group would be called into various courtrooms. We would then be asked questions by the attorneys for the defendant and for the plainstiff. Based on our answers or whether our background indicated that we would be a good juror or a bad juror for the case, the attorneys either agreed that we could serve on the trial as one of the twelve jurors, or we could be sent back to the big room and spend a day or two more until we are discharged.

"You walked into the room as if you owned the place," said the person who nominated me to be the foreman. He explained that as soon as I walked into the juror room, I began organizing pens and papers on the table. I walked around introducing myself to others. I found out locations of nearby restaurants since we had only one hour for lunch and must report back promptly. There were many office buildings around the courthouse and that could be a problem with getting a quick lunch.

A Board member mentioned to me that I had a purposeful walk and that I carried myself (all of my 5'3" frame) with confidence. Thanks to an old friend "Ann" who told me to always stand straight and never slouch. She told me to always extend your hand first to show that you are in control. I don't mind handshakes. At many meetings, I have to maintain the professionalism and courtesy to the members. I also have to be firm and make known that no one should cross the line. Working in the male-dominated construction industry I have to learn how to be helpful and courteous yet maintain the level of seriousness and not allow any intimidations.

The title of this entry is a song by the Beatles. I probably should change it to, "I don't want to hold your hand. Just a firm hand shake would do."